The Saga of the Seven Dudes
As background to this piece, Servoy is a piece of database software that FileMaker Inc. felt incredibly threatened by and people at FileMaker disparagingly referred to the Servoy team in Holland as ‘Seven Dudes in a Windmill’. This really tickled my imagination and the result is below.
Once upon a time in a land far, far away
Toiled seven dudes in a windmill, so they say.
They coded to the left; they coded to the right
They coded day and they coded night
With javascript, they sweated and they toiled
While in the Golden State, blood boiled
In envy, frustration and dismay
At the work of seven dudes, oh so far away.
Said Jan to the maker of the file
“C’mon guys, you’ve made your pile.
We’re not here looking to defeat
We’re just planning to compete.
We’re not getting in your face
In this enormous marketplace
In fact, we should both agree;
The object is to set the customer free!”
The seven dudes, however, knew no fear
For Jan had brought them beer
To slake their never-ending thirst
As they all strived to get there first
With code and functions and SQL
They were determined to excel
And excel they knew they would
Because they knew they could.
So they passed thru development hell
And the seven dudes felt so swell
As they held the world in sway
And Jan’s voice was heard to say
“Ah, this database stuff.
It ain’t so very tough
And there’s nothing we can’t do.
We’ll show them who’s who!”
Meanwhile in a land away so far
Ruled by an Austrian movie star
Jealousy and envy had reared its ugly head
With people wishing the dudes were dead.
“Who are these people?” came the cry
As tear ducts ran and ran and ran so dry
But the seven dudes coded on and on
For with the beer, they were very strong.
And slowly word of the seven dudes prowess
And lack of programming stress
Spread across the world as it was known
And the seeds of revolution were sown.
Give us ‘magnificent code’ came the word
“Yes”, said the seven dudes, “we heard
And it shall be so” and so it came to be
As the seven dudes coding set us free.
And the Oracle looked on them with lust,
Said their king “Have them we must.
I want the windmill, I want it bad
Or I’ll be sad and I’ll be very, very mad.”
And his minions made the call
Hoping their influence would enthrall
But all they got was the ansaphone,
“Sorry, Larry, but we’re not home!”
And the king raged and raged some more;
He even slammed the door
Of his hundred million dollar home
And then, in a fury, he began to roam
All the rooms he didn’t know he had
And soon he wasn’t all that sad
But he hasn’t been seen since that day
When seven dudes in a windmill said “Go away!”
And the Sun gleamed high up in the sky
“Well, maybe, we should buy!
We have the cash; we have the clout.
Could we be in and the Oracle be out!”
And so the call was made
But Caller ID displayed
And the seven dudes, without fail
Said “No, we’re not for sale.”
And Bill. Well, Bill scratched his head;
It was something he had read.
“They fix their bugs, they fix em fast!
I’m not sure if I’m gonna last!
I have 20,000 dwarfs at my beck and call
And these are seven dudes; that’s all.
This windmill must be a magic place
I’ll buy their country and send it into space!”
The offer, it was soon on the table
But the government had read the fable
About the Evil Empire’s wicked play
To make all competition go away.
So, quickly came the answer back to Bill
“Your offer was undoubtedly a thrill
But the windmill is a national treasure
And we serve at the seven dudes pleasure.”
More suitors came to have their say
And all quickly left in disarray
For the seven dudes had work to do
As all the beer was passing through.
And, in the windmill, new code was compiled
And the legions grinned and smiled
As they clamored for more and more
And the seven dudes nodded and said “Sure.”
And in that other land of gold and honey
What was once a surfeit of money
Dwindled, slowly and by the day
For nobody there was willing to say
“Perhaps the dudes are right.
Maybe we shouldn’t be spoiling for a fight.
Let’s both do what we do best
And leave the rest, well, to the rest.
Now the moral of this tale is clear
And it is one that we all hold dear.
With passion and belief, you can survive
But with a windmill and beer, you will thrive.
And though others fear your might
You must never ever lose sight
Of what it’s all about.
So, one and all, let’s hear you shout.
Servoy rocks!
An Onymouse
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